Lately.

-- Karen and Lester now live in Keizer and it's nice to have them so close. Lee helped to get them moved over the weekend and I have spent a little time over there the last couple of days helping unpack boxes for Karen since she can't do it herself due to her knee surgery. Last night, I even ran them over some leftover spaghetti after I made dinner. (I sure hope that we don't drive them crazy now that they are less than a mile away.) Ha!

-- Christmas is approaching fast and I am happy to report that the tree is up, the house is decorated, cards are almost ready to be mailed and our shopping is half done. I dread however, the wrapping that I need to start next week. The absolute WORST part of the holidays in my opinion.

-- I have been planning my Grandma's memorial service and going through tons of pictures to put together her memory board. Wow, that has been an experience. I've laughed, cried, and wondered 'what was my mom thinking making me wear that?' many times during the process.

-- Well, it's official folks. I am finally getting that half-sleeve that I have wanted for 4 years. I sent my list of ideas to the tattoo artist and she is drawing it up for me this week. We will start it in the beginning of January and I am beyond stoked to see my 'vision' through her artwork. I cannot wait to have it on my skin.

-- We have new neighbors next door (that don't seem so friendly) but they have the most adorable dog. Unfortunately, they leave him out ALL the time and his barking at night is enough to drive me crazy. I feel bad for him, and pissed at them. If it continues, and it results in waking Ava up one more time - I am so calling the cops.

The blur.

I got news last Sunday that my Grandma Lucky had suddenly passed on. And, when I say suddenly - I mean that in every sense of the word. There was no warning, no preparing myself, nothing. Just bam, and she was gone.

I have been trying to grasp that fact for days now and most days I feel okay, but there are moments every day where it will hit me all over again, that she isn't here anymore. Normally, it's at the most random times. When I am driving in the car, straightening my hair, or when I am grocery shopping. It's hard for me to convince myself and accept that she will never call me again to check on the kids or to see how my day is going. Never again will we chat about the sermon that she heard on Sunday at her church, never again will I  hear her laugh. It's a hard thing to get used to.

Her death is the first time that I have ever mourned like this. She practically raised me so it cuts so deep. I just don't understand.

I have said many times in the past week about how thankful I am to have traveled to Texas last month to visit her. She died exactly 1 month to the day.

We have been planning a memorial for her and with that comes many memories, heartache, sadness, joy, and a lot of grief wrapped up into it all. It's overwhelming.

I'm grateful for my friends and my family. It feels amazing to have so many people around to lean on during this time. In a sense, I feel like her passing has brought us all closer together, and to me at least a little good can come from something like this. I know that she is smiling down and proud of us all. 

I'll miss her, forever.

These two.

I got out my camera the other night to capture the interaction between Ava and Bentlee. They love each other equally and I just love to watch them.

This last one made me laugh. It's like she is saying: 'um, lady? Do you ever put that thing down?'

[P.S. and the answer is: 'No kiddo, I really don't. So you better get used to it.]

Rainy day in.

We have been having full blown Oregon weather today.
The rain has been falling and the wind has been blowing all day long.
Ava and I have enjoyed looking out the window and listening to it as it slaps against the glass.
Perfect day if you ask us.

#12.

Here is to the next 12... and the many more that follow.
Love this husband of mine.

The wave.

We have been practicing for weeks and I'm convinced that she finally gets it.
Anytime anyone says "hi" or "bye-bye" to Ava, she now opens and closes her chubby little hand. I still have to help her hold it up but she does the rest.
Today, I even watched her in her jumper wave to herself for a few minutes. It was the cutest.

And, it's a wrap.

Football is officially over for this season and honestly? It was a tough one.

We didn't win more than one game and we struggled to connect as a team. But, in the end, Layton had fun. I mean, he truly had a good time and to me - that means something.

Last year, he got to be part of a team that stomped everyone we went up against. He got to have the feeling of excitement and pride. This year he got to experience how it felt to lose (which to me, is just as important.) He had a few "I wish we would have won moments" but for the most part stayed positive with an attitude of we can't win them all.

I am glad that he got something out of it. I want my kids to learn and know that life is full of ups, downs, winning and losing. It's not about how many games you win but instead about how many games you give your all for. You do your best and that's all you can do. I'm glad that he could walk away from this humbled and still be excited for next year.

It's a life lesson he learned early and I think he will be a better person because of it. Sometimes? The loser comes out the winner. It's all about perspective.

I'm very proud of my boy and our entire Mighty Might team this year.
Way to go GREY CELTS!